No matter that the boss and owner can't seem to remember how to make a Reuben. His "innovative" alternative was quite acceptable, and I managed to squeeze a cookie out of him as "consideration" for unnecessary gustatory pain and suffering.
The first issue of the Bowdoin Orient for the school year, at least on a first reading, seemed decidely pedestrian in content. On to the Forecaster and the editorial page.
Ah! Targets worthy of snarky commentary by Side.
Perry Newman
Perry Newman, one of their regular columnists, wrote on health insurance reform and the need for Senator Snowe to "do the right thing."
This reporter, while always treading with the light steps of a butterfly in whatever subject area is being addressed, is none-the-less regularly accused of being over the top in choosing words to express a point. "Hair on fire" often captures the sentiment.
Newman's blazing coif and facial hair in this column beats anything coming from Side in recent memory. I hope you've got your Nomex suit on, because you're gonna need it when you read this passage:
Lives are at stake. At no other time has so much of our population been so imperiled by an enemy as pernicious and entrenched as our own health-care system.
They claim opponents of Obama's proposals, besides being racist, are going to extreme lengths to confuse and lie about things.
Newman bows to no one in this regard. Imperiled by an enemy? Pernicious?
Just to clarify things, dictionary.com has these relevant definitions of "pernicious:"
1. causing insidious harm or ruin; ruinous; injurious; hurtful: pernicious teachings; a pernicious lie.
2. deadly; fatal: a pernicious disease.
The bar has been raised, opponents. Better start sharpening those tongues over the weekend.
Jim Horowitz, Oxford Aviation President
Much has been written by the Forecaster and this reporter about Mr. Horowitz, his company's record to date, and their prospects for "global aviation leadership" as a lead occupier on Brunswick Naval Air Station.
Stepping out from behind the considerable presence of F. Lee Bailey, Horowitz responds to the recent Forecaster investigative reports.
Completely ignoring all the troublesome details of these articles, Horowitz instead calls for respect for his employees. A nice touch that, but an all too obvious ploy to distract readers from the facts he can't deny with sympathetic imagery.
Two Horowitz assertions call for comment.
Our national reputation is, without doubt, the highest in the industry.
As is the reputation of this blog, "without doubt." No hubris here on Oxford's part. I'm sure he submitted lengthy substantiation for this claim.
I'm reminded of how many "best lobster roll in Maine" signs I've see around the state.
While we're basking in the glow of Oxford's reputation, Horowitz reminds us that
All grant funds went into the construction funds, not one cent into Oxford Aviation's account.
Ummmm, OK. But I have a question. If I build a house for you with my money, while never putting a dollar into your account, does that mean you haven't realized a huge financial benefit?
Does the term "cost avoidance" mean anything? Does it really matter whether dollars were deposited into accounts, or is what matters the capital value gained at no expense?
Side notices a regular pattern with Horowitz. The main feature is lurking in the shadows while F. Lee Bailey does the "Denny Crane" act in public settings. No paintball guns yet, but the sheer power of the name is clearly in play.
When Horowitz does decide to show himself, it's with tender and tangential expressions that completely ignore the matters before "the court." In that respect, he is learning large from F. Lee. Hand-waving and theatrics are the best strategy when you have no defense.
In a court of law, and in the court of public opinion.
The Side rests, your honor.
It's time for some single malt and a fine cigar.
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