Tuesday, November 5, 2013

‘Round About Town

Well, here it is election day….another watershed moment in Cape Brunswick history, where voters will decide whether the town spends a lot more in the future, or spends a lot more in the future.

While we wait for the results, we thought we’d try to distract you with other irrelevancies.  For example, the lovely view seen when one comes upon our town ‘gateway,’ where the new Police HQ is the welcoming sight, and symbolizes community self-esteem.

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You have to admit the graffiti on the utility box adds a certain je ne sais qua to the ‘heart’ of Cape B, reminding one and all that watchful law enforcement is a top priority here.  And it sets the stage for the “Dance of Two Cultures” mural just a few blocks down the road.  Our little piece of the creative economy deserves nothing less, though we are at a loss to identify the artist responsible.  Perhaps a Bowdoin student?  Or a friend of the rail based artist?

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On this hand, maybe we’ve mis-interpreted what we thought to be a horribly situated utility box.  Perchance it’s really a rectilinear outdoor sculpture “piece” titled ‘blank canvas.’  If so, we could well see a plunger atop it, holding a few flowers, before long.

If, by some chance we’ve guessed wrong, couldn’t SOMEBODY responsible please have the graffiti removed?  Or at least put funds to do so in the next CIP?  Or tape some ‘huge garage sale’ signs over it?

Next we’d like to tell you about the latest ‘traffic-calming’ and safety improvement in our down-town, brought to you, we believe, by the very same folks who gave us the short-lived ‘back-in parking’ at Maine Street Station.  Shirley remembers it, and so should you.

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We confess that when we first heard the term ‘raised cross-walks’ we actually thought of cross-walks.  Oh how wrong we were.  We had fallen into the trap of thinking that this is what a cross-walk is:

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You know, a place where you ‘walk’ to ‘cross’ the street. 

But remember Crocodile Dundee in that scene where he says ‘that’s not a knife; THIS is a knife!  We wish we could have him here in town to say ‘that’s not a cross-walk; THIS is a cross-walk!’

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Complete with fewer parking spots, and thousands and thousands of new bricks to crumble and heave as the weather and salt have their way with them.  Now if we could just convert to back in parking in the center of town…….  Or perhaps a circle at the junction of Maine and Pleasant…..  Or a bridge over troubled storm waters…..

If nothing else, we suppose we can think of these improvements as ‘year-round frost heaves.’  You do love frost heaves, don’t you?  Some places have reversing falls; we now have traversing happy heaves.

But we digress.  Better to focus on how many law suits will be filed against the town when drivers navigating the new obstacle course end up with piping hot coffee in their laps or faces.  I can even think of a newly minted local attorney who has the disposition for just such actions.

Not to mention logs falling off trucks, boats falling off trailers, plows doing the dance of many blades, and other assorted mishaps.  We might even have some nicely shaken beer or soft drinks shower the street with a new form of carbonized rain.

TTFN, and make sure you use your Polident before heading into town.  We’re thinking the Big Top and other local purveyors might start selling those mouth-guards like athletes use to protect their teeth.

We should have known you could personalize them for fundraising purposes.  But what we really want to know is whether you can eat a Reuben or a Twist without taking them out of your mouth.  Or maybe they should come with a tether to tie them to your steering wheel so you leave them in your ride.

Gotta keep those pearly whites safe.  If only for biting satire.

2 comments:

  1. Now that they have their new palace our local "finest" are as smug as ever. Yesterday one came down my private road in her well equipped police chariot, stopped by my tenants home and then proceeded to turn around and leave. Having seen this activity from my home office window I went out to pay homage but stood there as she politely drove right by me without even turning her head. The look on her face was priceless. It reminded me of the look the dowager used to give Groucho Marx in his movies.

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  2. I personally am not used to the new raised cross walks.

    http://saltwaterharbor.com

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