We find much that goes on at Bowdoin to be absolutely maddening, insane, and dissonant on any number of levels. Thankfully, those precious little Polar Bear Teddies are also capable of tickling our funny bones, especially when their antics invite interpretation in the context of their privileged, elite, super-bright qualities.
Herewith the latest example of Friday Night Funzies, Fresh from Friday’s edition of the Bowdoin Orient. In the official campus Security Report, no less.
Sunday, October 1
- Students in Osher Hall reported that someone threw a poutine container at a first floor window.
We don’t know whether this outrageous act will be referred to Brunswick’s Human Rights Task Force, but the ethnic and cultural appropriation implications of the act certainly raise a red flag for attention by elected and appointed Municipal officials.
Tuesday, October 3
- A fire alarm at Fairley (sic) Field House was apparently caused by shower steam and overpowering men’s cologne.
Here again, the HRTF may want to take a look at this incident, and the insensitivity of Bowdoin’s security personnel. The use of overpowering fragrance is troubling enough for its microagressive potential, but the stereotypical characterization of the fragrance in today’s gender non-normalized world is particularly troubling. This one may call for bringing in specialized consultants to conduct language sensitivity training, along with a fragrance desensitizing class.
Friday, October 6
- An officer checked on the wellbeing of an intoxicated student sleeping on the front lawn at Quimby House at 1:00 am.
Finally, the kind of good old-fashioned campus hi-jinx we can relate to. No word on whether the responding officer asked if the student found a towel over the door-knob to his room, and in keeping with age-old roomie messaging, felt he had no other choice but to hit the lawn.
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