Here at Other Side, we’ve come to realize that our growth has been limited by the fact that we are not a certified organic web site.
This was hammered home to us yesterday when we happened by the Tontine Mall and discovered that you can now get Organic Manicures ($30) and Organic Pedicures ($35). Imagine how surprised we were to learn that nail polish plants can be grown in both organic and non-organic versions. What’s next – Vampire Mani-Pedis?
As for us, we’re not willing to pay more than $5 for either our mani or Pedi, and thankfully, Leo the Barber is willing to add these options to our twice a year head shave for these token amounts. Yes, it grosses out some of the other haircut customers, but it’s time for them to get with the retro-sexual vibe.
So, faithful readers, we come to you today to announce that Other Side is, from here on out, a fully Organic blog. We pledge to eliminate the use of synthetic hormones, antibiotics, herbicides, insecticides, symbiotics, petrocides, peroxides, fungicides, czaricides, ovicides, germicides, or any other cides or xides from the posts you read here. We cannot, obviously, eliminate Sides from our content.
Certifying our content as Organic, in keeping with prevailing retail trends, will require that we double our current subscription rates. You can expect to see the increase in your next statement. We’re confident that you’ll pony up the increase without any grousing. If you don’t, expect us to publish your name on the Enemies of Organic Blogging web site.
It boils down to this: the staff here at the editorial offices believes the Organic wave is the key to our financial security, and the way to grow our business base. While we’re still refining the details, we’re already formulating plans to open an Organic Consulting Agency, an Organic Bookkeeping Office, an Organic Tree Removal Service, an Organic Well Drilling Company, and an Organic Electrician Practice.
We think there might be potential for Organic barbers, handymen, and trash removal services as well.
We’ll keep you posted on these ideas, in a purely organic way.
If it works out, maybe we’ll create an on-line presence called “Orgy’s List.”