"I had a dream;" our latest reject by the Ostrich

This should come as no surprise to you; our latest submission to John Swinconeck, The Grand High Poobah of The Ostrich, The Forecaster, and who knows what else, garnered no response, just as we expected it would.

No "Sorry, you're a dirtbag," or "we just don't have room," or "we don't want any of our readers to suffer the vapors."

So even if said Poobah finds our musings intolerable, at least he doesn't have the common decency to give us a "thanks but no thanks."  Which is why we think the self-aggrandizing legend "Local. Legitimate. Journalism" at the top of Page 1 should be redacted.

For you, though, we are posting the submitted item.  Some of you may read the first line and think we were summonsing up the Beatle's "Imagination" poetry.  But we were not.  You have to go back a bit further to The Kingston Trio songbook, which set the standard for our earliest folk music days.

The submission, just below, was inspired by this:

https://www.pressherald.com/2020/08/04/brunswick-council-backs-call-for-universal-health-care-for-all-mainers/?utm_source=Headlines&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Daily

Published on 4 August, documenting the predictable unanimous vote.

Here is our "thought piece on the subject:"
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I had a dream....

Last night I had the strangest dream, I've never had before. Brunswick Town Councilor Dan Ankeles was pitching a proposal for a free lunch program in Brunswick to his full Council. Always one for theatrics, and having played the lead role in The Music Man several times over, Dan appeared in full Professor Harold Hill regalia. He brought with him Dr. Fealomina Good to help him make his case.

Dr. Good, who asked to be called “Feal,” said that food insecurity is a widely known problem in our society, and that coming together to provide free lunch for one and all would be a first step in a more fair, just, and equitable dietary profile for our community. She added that she recommends the lunch be provided seven days a week all year round regardless of weather and other challenges. “It's time to stop making excuses for not providing these lunches,” Dr. Feal Good exclaimed.

Prof. Hill took the floor again, strutting to the apparent sounds of a Sousa March only he could hear. He asked if there were any questions as he jauntily tipped his straw hat to one and all. Up went a hand. “Where do you plan on getting these lunches,” a disbelieving council member asked. Dan responded that a well known town bakery and lunch purveyor named “Wild Goats” was building a new facility, and would have plenty of kitchen capacity to handle the load. He added that they'll be offering their own line of Deli Meats called “Goats Head,” beginning with Artisanal Meat Baloney, always a sandwich favorite, even if you have it for lunch 365 days a year. (Can't be too picky when it comes to free lunch, can we?)

Wild Goats said they'll also be providing goats' milk to go with the sandwiches. They're searching for a nearby organic bee-keeper so they can re-brand their dairy offering with a “Land of Milk & Honey” image.

Dan said he's also been contacted by Naughty Jim Coffee Roasters who are looking for a way to build a community of fans, and they think this is just the ticket. They're thinking of calling their first blend “Naughty Jim's Joe.”

Then there's the “Free Ride Taxi Company,” Dan added. The town gave them a quarter million dollars several years ago, and they'd like to return the gesture to the town residents who paid the bill on that. They'll provide rides to the daily Lunch setting for those who can, and deliver the lunches for those who can't. Dan pointed out that the Downeaster is expecting a windfall in new passengers from points south, including our neighboring states, once word of the daily free lunch every day of the year gets out.

The last issue to be worked out according to Ankeles is where to serve the lunches. Initially he plans to use the Town Hall Council Chambers but knows that won't work for long. So he's looking into using the gyms in town schools, and eventually expanding to a hangar on the old Navy Base.

Dan disclosed that he had one final nugget in his plan to make free lunch Brunswick an incredible success. Once again alluding to the importance of branding, Dan said he was impressed enough by a local start up business that has achieved incredible success, and he's following suit by going with “Free Lunch Fiasco” as the hook line for his plan.

Asked if he had any other plans to bring forward in the future, Dan said he'd been thinking about a free dental care program, because “bad teeth have been a trademark of Maine residents for too long, and it's time it came to an end.” Dan said he's looking to the Tooth Fairy to be at the center of the project, and has left several messages at her Office, but had yet to hear back. “I'm hopeful she'll call soon and be willing to bring her special talents to the program.”

Skeptical looks were unmistakable on the faces of other councilors, but none wanted to rain on the free-stuff parade. Finally a member of the public worked up the courage to ask “who is going to pay for all these free lunches?”

Dan looked shocked by the question, and with a stern look at the inquisitor replied “what part of free lunch don't you understand?” “Getting approval of the Council should be all it takes.”

He admitted “We may have to readjust budget priorities a little bit,” but that's pretty easy. He referenced the Downeaster, which provides $10 Million a year in free train ride capacity, even if no one is on the trains, and they are doing “just fine.” 

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Who wouldn't want that as a featured commentary on their local "Opinion Page?"

You know who, don't you.

Just who are these "protesters" anyway?

 

A recent article in the Portland newspaper contained this subhead (you can find the article here https://www.pressherald.com/2020/06/14/protesters-in-brunswick-vow-to-return-until-their-voices-are-heard/)

"Organizers on Saturday listed multiple policy and funding changes they want to see within the Brunswick Police Department and said they will keep coming back until they see change."

In other words, they intend to hold the Brunswick Police and Brunswick town government hostage, in a manner of speaking.   Which raises the questions of just who these protesters are, where do they live, and who are the organizers?

You see, we come from the old fashioned school that believes that Brunswick town policy and budgets are determined by the people through those they elect to represent them.  Old habits and old beliefs die hard, we suppose.

If we had to guess, some small segment of the protesters are the usual suspects among town residents, and the bulk of them are outsiders who get spun up and "organized" through the use of various "social media" platforms.  Some may even be paid to protest through national organizing channels like Black Lives Matter, which has a well-oiled machine, wealthy patrons, and liquid assets that would make your head spin.  We also know from earlier articles that one of the town political party committees has been involved in "organizing" such demonstrations.

Well, anyway, we thought about how when we wish to speak in front of the Town Council, we're required to identify ourselves and where we live (in Brunswick!) to be recognized by the Council Chair.  Statements like "we'll keep coming back until we see change" are absurd in these circumstances, since in most cases that we can remember, the Council could care less about what we have to say, factual though it may be.  Rather, they provide a modest time period for town residents to vent in public.

Head-banger that Side is, we came up with a thought on how to remedy this protest situation that holds the protagonists to the same standards town residents must oberve.  In another act of wasted energies, bytes, and electrons, we submitted the idea to the Council "for action."  The response has been just as we expected, and we don't expect a single official finger to be lifted to "protect and defend" the rights and interests of Brunswick residents and taxpayers.  Why would we, given their record?  And especially what some would perceive as their genuflecting to any and all protest groups.

At any rate, here is the message we sent them, on Monday June 15th, to be exact.  We included the Town Manager and the Police Department in the distribution.

As an additional thought on the memorandum I submitted regarding your draft statement, I suggest that the next time protesters gather in a confrontational mode, such as calling out Police at HQ, that a prominent method for them to sign up with their name and mailing address be provided so they can be kept up to date with decisions and changes made to town operations.  Phone numbers, email addresses, twitter handles, etc, would be optional.

They need to indicate their name and address if they want to be taken seriously in influencing town policy and expenditures.

As a town resident and taxpayer, I would like to know that those who are demanding various things from our Town Government have the same stake in the town that I, my neighbors, and fellow residents have.

The very least they should be willing to do if they want residents to take their inputs seriously is to identify themselves by providing their names and addresses.

Perhaps you'd like to send our besieged leaders a similar message.  Here are the email addresses you'll need for that purpose:

towncouncil@brunswickme.org
sstewart@brunswickpd.org (incoming Police Chief)
rrizzo@brunswickpd.org (retiring Police Chief)
jeldridge@brunswickme.org (Town Manager)

If and when you do, let us know, and we'll declare you an official novitiate in the unofficial head-bangers "club."