Friday, March 23, 2012

Just when you think you’ve heard it all, trust us, you haven’t….

“Time for your medication, Randall.”

Remember a few years back when Brunswick School Superintendent Perzanoski proposed putting donation jars in local shops, where patrons could donate the change from their transactions to the schools?  Not quite panhandling, but just a skosh away.

Side recalled that little factoid several days ago, and thought why not upgrade the idea to putting tip jars on teacher’s desks?  Pre-seeded with folding money to set expectations, of course.

Ludicrous as that may seem, the ante has been upped in the pursuit of school dollars.  Under the heading of ‘you can’t make this up,’ reality has stepped in and slapped us up side the head.

The Brunswick Town Council will hold a special meeting on Tuesday, March 27th.  We got word of this in an email time stamped at 3:02 pm today, ensuring The Ostrich, our local guardian of freedom, would be unable to cover it in the weekend edition.  Probably just a coincidence.

The agenda reads as follows:

45. The Town Council will discuss selling the McLellan building to Bowdoin College, and will take any appropriate action. (Chair King)

Side was a bit confused by this, having forgotten that the McLellan building now belongs to the town.  How could we forget that!  You can refresh yourself on the deal here.

At any rate, we inquired of town officials as to why we would consider selling the building back to the College.

The answer my friends, is blowing in the winds of the school budget hurricane about to thunder through our sleepy little village.

Turns out ‘it has been suggested’ that we sell the building back to Bowdoin to resolve the school budget revenue catastrophe before us.  It might be a leap too far, but from the way the agenda item reads, it appears that Chair King is the suggestor.

Good idea; reports are the College is looking for space to start the ‘Bowdoin Center for the Study of Failed Governments.’

We kid you not, we kid you not, we kid you not.

If you don’t think ‘the children’ are running this town, you might want to reconsider.

In keeping with “Always look at the bright side of your life” though, Side’s detractors can take some solace in this news.  We recently posted these words:

Start with adapting the McLellan Building for Town Office use.  That can’t possibly be less than $2-3 Million, after a $250,000 or so study to figure out what to do and make the air tight case for doing so.

Boy, were we ever off the mark on this one, as compared to our inside the park home run on Police Station cost growth.  We never guessed McLellan would be sacrificed on the altar of school budget revenue. 

We’ve learned a valuable lesson, and won’t limit our imagination in the future.  Out of the box?  How about out of this world?

Before we forget, do any of you have Stephen King’s private phone number?  We’ve got a great idea for a book.  He could call it “Children of the Schools.”

While you’re looking for the number, how about checking the Kelly Blue Book to find out how much you can get for a two year old Police Interceptor with 100,000 miles on it?  And a shed full of unused road salt.

At least now we have a better idea how Jack Nicholson’s character in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ must have felt.

We fervently hope we don’t have to submit to a lobotomy to prove our devotion to civic perfection.  We’re not so sure what others may be willing to do, though.

That’s the problem with Cuckoo Nests.  You’re never quite sure who is a Cuckoo, and who might be Nurse Ratched.

Maybe you can figure it out.


  1. Time to notify the FORECASTER, since the source of information in Brunswick can't be trusted on this one. If the Council votes to do what you are suggesting, then those who vote to do this have to be recalled and if this is not available, then inundate the media with complaints. Are you sure little Geithner isn't running this operation?

  2. You can't make this stuff up. Surreal! HELP!!

  3. Any port in a storm. Politics makes for strange bed fellows. What goes around comes around. History repeats itself. What more can be said?