Sunday, January 26, 2014

Not to be outdone by the BDA, the other BDA announces first Annual Award….


The Brunswick DownSide Association, at it’s first ever annual gathering, announced that it has created an award for exemplary monetary generosity to solicitous communities.  Named the Burning Backside Award, LT Ben Dover, speaking on behalf of the founder, made this statement in announcing the first recipient:

“The first ever Burning Backside Award presented by The Brunswick DownSide Association honors Patsy Blaze-Spinn, Executive Director of the Northern New England Currency Combustion Authority (NNECCA).  Ms. Spinn has rekindled local interest in long-ignored alternative energy sources, and ignited a firestorm of excitement about the transition to a new heating system for the McClellan Building.”

“Unimpressed by the current electrical heating system,” he continued, “which reportedly runs bills in the $100,000 a year range, Ms. Spinn personally obtained an initial trainload of currency from state and federal OPM accounts to replace the electric unit with a certified currency cremator.  She and her staff are now working with the Federal Reserve Bank and the Federal Railroad Administration to schedule regular rail shipments of pelletized currency.  Thanks to Ms. Spinn’s leadership of NNECCA, McClellan homefires  will keep burning, and town officials can be assured of a warm fuzzy feeling.  As an added benefit, the pelletized currency shipments will ensure that Amtrak rail service to Brunswick continues in perpetuity.”

In accepting the award, Blaze-Spinn said “this award would not have been possible without the willing due-negligence and submissiveness of numerous town staff and officials, and they should share this award with me.  We’re all proud to be part of a team that is setting the economy on fire here in Brunswick.  Through this pioneering effort, we’ve ensured that Brunswick will have a ready source of draw down fuel resources for the foreseeable future, none of which will cost any of us anything.”

OK; you caught us.  We’re in one of our frivolous frames of mind; it’s the curse of a ‘fertile’ imagination.  We need to have a little fun every now and then.  Especially this time of year, when temperatures barely make it to the teen-aged level, and we look for chances to joke around.

The inspiration for our silliness is this recent release from the Brunswick Downtown Association (edited down):

Brunswick, ME 1.23.14– The Brunswick Downtown Association BDA) hosted our 2014 Annual Meeting on January 23rd at the

Inn at Brunswick Station. BDA Board Chair, Dee Perry opened the breakfast meeting by thanking the generous donors to the BDA, thanking outgoing Board members welcoming new Board members.

Dee also recognized several Brunswick businesses a BDA volunteer and the Town Manager for their dedication to the BDA and the town of Brunswick. These accolades included:

  • Northern New England Passenger Rail Authority (NNEPRA) was recognized as BUSINESS MEMBER OF THE YEAR for increasing the accessibility of the town to visitors and residents. The Brunswick and Freeport ridership has far exceeded what was predicted. Patricia Quinn, executive director of NNEPRA, accepted the award.
  • A tribute to outgoing Town Manager Gary Brown, acknowledged his long standing support of the BDA and his role in the development of Station Avenue and the New Brunswick Police Station. Gary was given a print of Brunswick Station created by Karl Saila as recognition.

Here’s the way we see things vis-à-vis these awards.  Amtrak passenger rail service, with a minor exception or two, is financially non-viable and unsustainable without massive federal injection of funds this nation does not have.  Doweaster service to Brunswick, we further believe, has cost the town and the state funds that will never be returned in any conventional investment form. 

In other words, Amtrak and the Downeaster are burning other peoples’ money (OPM) by the carload, and will continue to do so until economic collapse.  But we suppose it’s nice if you can win awards from the local beneficiaries for burning up the funds on their behalf.

Additionally, we can’t help but chuckle over the tribute to the resigning Mr. Manager who ‘wasn’t asked to resign.’ 

But he wasn’t asked to re-sign, either, was he?  And  he’s getting quite a cash ‘tribute’ for not doing so.  Reminds us, in a way, of being in the taxi business.  Leave office, collect cash.

Funny how these things work, isn’t it?  That’s what we thought too.

So we decided to ‘burn off’ a little excess silliness by being a joker.

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