John “Johnny Protocols” Richardson: Emphathetically leading Brunswick…..

…over the cliff of unconstrained Government, that is.

 

We begin with motherly common sense from some 65 years ago:

“Everyone else is doing it?  So tell me, if everyone else was jumping off a bridge, would you do that too?''

Barely a month into his seat on the Brunswick Town Council, John (Johnny Protocols) Richardson has already established himself as a darling of the ‘new schools at any cost’ crowd at BCU.  And now he’s led the Town into Corporate Affiliation with PeaceWorks, Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom, and umbrella group Maine People’s Alliance.  Who knows how many others we’ll be joining as J.P. builds his campaign apparatus through his role as Town Councilor.  For those with ‘expansive’ thinking, you’ll find numerous candidates here; enough to make your eyes bleed, frankly.

We use this all to set the stage for a recent news report on Brunswick Town Councilor Benet Pols web site:

“The Council passed a resolution seeking a constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United on a 6-3 vote. Wilson, Watson & Favreau were opposed.”

(The above is a report from the Council meeting held Monday, February 4th, and updates this earlier post on Pols’ site:)

“We’ll also be hearing a request that the Town Council take a position against the Supreme Court’s decision known as Citizens United. This is a decision that has allowed corporations to spend much more than they were allowed in the past to influence elections. Many municipalities have taken similar actions.” (Could you please name them, Councilor?)

“The item is sponsored by Councilors Brayman and Richardson. The Council has been hearing about this issue during public comment at almost every meeting since September. To this point, all speakers have urged the council to adopt a resolution like the one before the council at this meeting. (emphasis ours)”

So there you are; It doesn’t matter what the jurisdiction of the Council is, or what powers are invested in it by the Town Charter.  The Council can simply assume any powers those using the public comment period ask that it take for its own, especially when certain members are seeking higher office, and are pandering to local special interests.  And it makes them look good on camera.

Let’s parse things a bit here.  We’ll use some videos, which if you watch carefully, will prove to you that the advocacy here was anything but a ‘grass roots’ effort to convince an ‘apolitical’ and ‘non-partisan’ group of ‘public servants’ to do ‘the right thing.’

This first one combines the statements of six residents over five council meetings into one clip, very professionally produced, to lead the uninformed (dare we say Ostrich fans?) into believing that a flood of citizens appeared to make their case on a single night.

This conflicts with Councilor Pols’ comment from above, which we repeat here;

“The item is sponsored by Councilors Brayman and Richardson. The Council has been hearing about this issue during public comment at almost every meeting since September. To this point, all speakers have urged the council to adopt a resolution like the one before the council at this meeting. (emphasis ours)”

Official council minutes show that six people spoke over a span of five Council meetings ranging from October to December.  So we call bravo sierra on the hyperbole from Pols.

This next video shows just how far individual Councilors will go to expand their powers and responsibilities beyond just bounds if it can 1) expand their hopes for future office, and 2) help them pander to special interests.  Note especially the professional production values as they apply to the visage of Johnny Protocols. 

Any claim that this was simply ‘candid’ footage is so deceitful as to be a public, bold-faced lie.  This is not cable channel footage; this is professionally produced private film-making. It features Johnny P., who played the leading role in meeting coverage, and appeared to be very well prepared for his ‘brief’ moment on camera.  Pre-planned script and coverage anyone?  Multi-camera pre-arranged production crew?  Serious post-production expertise?

Be sure before you watch the clip to click on the play arrow in the audio clip just below and above the video clip.  It will make your overall experience far more enjoyable.

We don’t know specifically where the boundaries between anarchy, tyranny, and ordered liberty fall, but as we heard someone famous say recently, '”what difference does it make?”  This outcome indicates that governance is more or less a free-for-all, and that squeaky wheels should get oiled, especially if it makes for good TV, good press, happy special interests, and rising polls.

The intent of this post is not to debate the Citizens United decision, per se, but Instead, to question the common sense, motivations, and propriety of our elected officials.  Some call them ‘public servants;’ don’t get us started down that path.  Most behave as ‘our betters.’

Now that we’ve seen how things work, perhaps we should come before The Council to ‘urge’ them to adopt the following resolutions:

• The growing of broccoli with heads larger than 10” across the widest point within Brunswick town limits should be outlawed.
• Parking a car in a way that consumes two marked parking spots while shopping at Morning Glory Natural Foods should result in a fine of $500, and a requirement to eat twelve non-organic carrots in public.
• Shooting a U-turn on Maine Street to cop a parking spot on the other side of the street should result in loss of your Drivers License, and your perp photo being published on this blog.
• The Federal Income Tax should be repealed.
• Subarus, Volvos, and Priuses should not be permitted to display political bumper stickers.
• Barack Obama should be declared President for Life.  Is there any doubt that Brunswick citizens would overwhelmingly support such a Constitutional Amendment, and that the consequences would effect the lives of every Brunswick resident?  What more should be needed to compel Council action?
• July and August cannot be too hot.
  And there's a legal limit to the snow here.
• The winter is forbidden till December
  And exits March the second on the dot.
  By order, summer lingers through September.
• The rain may never fall till after sundown.
  By eight, the morning fog must disappear.

Further, we should come before the State Legislature and ‘urge’ them to pass the following resolutions:

• Hamburgers at The Big Top Deli should be free, and required to be cooked to medium-well or more on Fridays.
• Brunswick property tax rates should be limited to no more than $15 per thousand of assessed value.
• The sky should be declared turquoise on the third day of each month that has 31 days.
• The Maine Constitution should be amended to allow Johnny P. to simultaneously hold the offices of Governor, Senate President, and Speaker of the House, with no limits on terms.

Finally, we’d like to ‘urge’ the Federal Government to pass the following resolution:

• Municipal Governments should mind their own damn business, and stick to what they are supposed to do, which is managing the local municipal enterprise.

Further Study Note:  In case you wanted to know more about Maine People’s Alliance, you’ll get a ‘kick’ out of their “Fair Share” platform:

Our Plan to Pass Through the State Legislature or Referendum:

1. Universal education from pre-K through college. Education is a human right. From the time a child is 3 years old until they enroll in the University of Maine or Community College system, their education should be free.

2. $1 billion to eliminate unemployment. Meaningful work is a human right. The Job Creation Fund will create jobs in key sectors of the economy, such as infrastructure, health care, clean energy, and education. We’ll also raise the minimum wage to $10/hr to get closer to a living wage.

3. Publicly Financed Health Care. Health care is a human right. In a “single payer” system with no health insurance companies, everyone gets the care they need by contributing what they can afford through taxes.

4. We’ll pay for it by making our tax system fair. Lower taxes for the bottom 70%. The top 10% will pay 5% more than low-income Mainers pay now.

No doubt which side of the political spectrum they’d have us reside on.  And won’t this make a fine candidate for the next resolution the Council wants to pass.  In this town, you could get 6 people to demand the Council support this policy, and 2,000 petition signers to endorse it, in front of a Bank on Maine Street of a Saturday Morning.  Or at the upcoming Peace Fair.

Clearly, we are not among the elites to whom ‘it’ has been revealed, especially the ruling elites.  In our frustration, though, we feel it is our obligation to remind you of a few things. 

Maine is comprised of unincorporated territories and incorporated territories.  And wouldn’t you just know, Brunswick is a municipal corporation.  To whit:

http://www.mainelegislature.org/legis/statutes/30-A/title30-Asec2002.html

Title 30-A: MUNICIPALITIES AND COUNTIES HEADING: PL 1987, C. 737, PT. A, §2 (NEW)

§2002. Municipality as body corporate

The residents of a municipality are a body corporate which may sue and be sued, appoint attorneys and adopt a seal.

Further, it doesn’t take much of a logical leap to recognize that labor unions, LLC’s, Associations, and any number of other institutions in our society are, ipso facto, corporations.  How about AARP, the AMA, and the ABA?  How about The Corporation for Public Broadcasting?  How about small businesses?  (Note: anyone who thinks Johnny P. and friends are going to limit labor union political activism and financing needs to not pass go.)

Then there’s Brunswick’s Town Charter, which says the following:

Section 101. - Incorporation.

The inhabitants of the Town of Brunswick shall continue to be a municipal corporation called the Town of Brunswick, Maine.

Section 102. - Powers of the town.

(a) The town shall have, exercise and enjoy all the rights, immunities, powers and privileges of municipal corporations incorporated under the laws of the State of Maine. It shall be subject to all the duties, liabilities and obligations provided for herein, or otherwise pertaining to or incumbent upon such municipal corporations.

(b) The town may enact by-laws, regulations and ordinances consistent with the Constitution and laws of the State of Maine and establish penalties for the breach thereof as provided by the laws of the State of Maine.

Too bad we didn’t have any attorneys on the Town Council to explain these nuances of the proposed resolution to the other councilors and the seen and unseen audience.

What?  We have three attorneys on the Council?  Then how the hell could this have happened?

OK, Roger that, but we can’t print those words here.

While we’re on the subject, let’s make one more point.  The Council CAN’T DO a damn thing about the School Budget, but it CAN press for an Amendment to the US Constitution?  And they want us to take them seriously?  And buy into their ‘costs beyond our control’ rhetoric?

And you want this Town Council to determine the future of this town?  And you want this Councilor, one Johnny Protocols, to be our next Governor?  Or is it Senator, or Representative, or all of the above?

We wore ourselves out as we worked on this post; the snow was (and is) snowing, the wind was blowing, but we can weather the storm.  What do we care how much it may storm, we’ve got our love to keep us warm.  And our dogs, and our common sense.

As counterpoint, here’s a clip that credibly examines the subject at hand:

A Little Historic Background, and the Origin of “Emphathetic” 

Lest you think Johnny Protocols simply bends with the wind on such matters, we remind you of a Sept 2009 Forecaster Article that discussed public concerns over drones coming onto the scene at the redeveloping Naval Air Station:

Richardson, who is considered a potential gubernatorial candidate, made an effort to emphathize with the crowd, noting that as the former state House speaker, he was one of the few state lawmakers to oppose the war in Iraq.

"That was not a popular position at the time," Richardson said.

Once could infer, then, that J.P. took an anti-drone position at that time.  Funny how things change.  Now that Barack Obama is in office, and Senator King, Angus supports their use, drones have suddenly taken on a left-wing Radical Chic, and J.P.’s resistance is no longer au courant. 

So there you have it; If there’s anything Johnny Protocols is good at, it’s emphathizing.   You learn that in Augusta.  We take this to be a combining form of emphatic and empathizing.  Or, being blunt, as you expect us to be, politically expedient pandering.

And Even More Historic Background:

This story is so juicy because when it served his purposes, Johnny P has been completely enthralled with evil corporations, and all too ready to find loopholes and tax breaks and any other form of incentive to bring them to Brunswick. 

in June 2009, speaking to the Town Council, he bragged of how he was involved in ‘no less than a dozen opportunities,’ speaking to Fortune 500 CEOs and COOs, about coming to the former BNAS.  That same night, he advised that we need ‘a protocol’ to keep the Council informed.  And that’s when we decided to call him Johnny Protocols.  You can read about it here, in the post that featured the now classic line “take two protocols and call me in the morning.”

Funny, isn’t it, how those dozen Fortune 500 prospects were never to be heard of again, not even one of them.  Our man Johnny mustn’t be too good at passing the baton.  Passing the buck seems to suit him better.

We have one last thought on resolutions for our Council leaders to consider:

• Brunswick Council Chambers should be renamed Cape Richardson as J.P. regularly launches campaign shots from the site.

            

Sadly, as must all things, this post has to end.  We’ll do so musically, as we ask you to imagine Johnny singing these words:

Bruns-a-wick! Bruns-a-wick!
In far-off halls I heard your call.
Bruns-a-wick! Bruns-a-wick!
And here am I to give my all.
I know in my soul what you expect of me,
And all that and more I shall be.

The soul of a pol should be a thing remarkable,
His heart and his mind as pure as morning dew.
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
He could easily work a miracle or two.
To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable,
The ways of the flesh should offer no allure.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A man so untouched and pure?
(C'est John!)

And just because we like it, and it seems fitting, here’s a parting shot of BCU members and other town notables evaluating the dives of Council Members as they plunge into the Sea of Madness.

(We’d like to thank W. T. Fugawy, who contributed significant research to this post.)

Technorati Tags: Brunswick,unlimited government,corporations,special interests,Richardson

Other Side Staffing Update

                

“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”  - W. C. Fields.

‘Truer words…,’ as they say.  And lord knows there’s more than enough bull to face around here.

So we’ve decided to use our excess profits here at Other Side Media to expand our staff, in hopes of providing even more effective coverage, and greater diversity of viewpoint.  Things always look different from the back of the bull than they do from the front of the bull, and we’re here to help you see and understand the difference.

Here’s the new staff line-up:

B. S. Balderdash: an intern who will, from time to time, be given a chance to author an item, but will have to prove to us that he has what it takes by handling other entry level chores first, like hitting the street for research, and bull on the street interviews.

LT Benjamin Dover: known to his friends as Ben, Dover last made an appearance on Side in this item.  He’s been hanging around the office lately, asking if he could do some free lance work.  We don’t have any lance work that needs doing, but as long as he’ll do it for free, what’s the harm of letting him hang around?  Everybody deserves a chance, don’t they?  And we’re pretty sure that soon enough we’ll stumble upon something that needs lancing.

W. T. Fugawy: we recently received an application from Fugawy, backed up with a couple of laudatory phone calls from references, and based on what they had to say, we’ve decided to give the kid a chance.  The references said that while Fugawy is not very good at knowing where he is, he has an uncanny sense of not knowing which way to go from there.  We concluded this would provide a much needed alternate universe view of things hereabouts, which should double or triple our readership.

P. C. Poppycock: founder and publisher.  Peaches and cream, writer supreme, God’s gift to readers.  We’re very proud of our role in this enterprise, and we pledge to maintain the humility you’ve come to expect from us.  Much as we regret having to say it, we’re ever so aware that Other Side is nothing without us.  Many say it’s nothing with us either, but hey, they can spend $100 or more a year watching what an Ostrich does.

In closing then, pick a bull, grab it by the tail, and come on along for the ride.  We expect this to be a fertile year here in Perfect, or as it’s known officially, Brunswick.  From the looks of things, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Except down.

Technorati Tags: Brunswick,Other Side,staffing

A note from the head office…

We’re working on several other articles, all in need of a bit  more information before we finalize them.

For the nonce, we give you this update to the workings of our media empire.  If you look just to the right of this item, you should see the red sidebar column listing the blog topics, subject areas, quote of the day, and other miscellany.

At the very top, you should now see a “Subscribe via email” heading, with a link just below it.  Click on that link, and in theory, you can arrange to get an email notification when a new post appears on our site.

We’ve had some Ostrich like thoughts about this new feature.  Like setting things up so that you only see the first sentence and a half of the new post, and then requiring you to become a paid subscriber to our print edition to see the rest.

Or offering you an ‘on-line’ subscription for slightly less.

Don’t worry; so far, our nobler self has prevailed over the profit driven COO we have on staff.

Matter of fact, we just checked with Igor, and it says we don’t have a print edition.

Yet, that is.

Technorati Tags: Ostrich,admin,notification

Afterthought on a recent post….

A few hours ago, we posted “In case you didn’t know….,” which included a link to a newspaper article posted today.  That article included glowing statements from Patricia Quinn, Executive Director of NNEPRA.

Here’s a sample:

But Quinn at the Northern New England Passenger Rail Authority says passenger rail's real advantage is as an economic development tool, prompting real estate developments and attracting businesses while reducing road congestion.

Since then, it helped prompt … a $30 million hotel complex in Brunswick.

"It's helped revitalize communities, create more jobs and improve the quality of life, and it's also the most environmentally friendly form of transportation. It's an economic engine for the region."

As we walked our dogs, we pondered these pronouncements and became angrier and angrier.

Anyone who believes this hype should also accept that passenger rail caused the failure of The Daniel Stone Inn, and the loss of the private investment that brought it back to life. Not to mention the failure of Back Street Bistro and Lilee’s Public Ale House, among other local enterprises.

The truth is that free taxpayer money at the federal level ‘prompted’ the investment of free taxpayer money at the local level.  Yes sir, yes sir, three bowls full comes to mind.

We’ll deal with ‘reducing road congestion;’ improving ‘quality of life;’ and ‘environmentally friendly form of transportation’ in future posts.

For now, we should call for backing up a truck to haul the load away.  No, wait – a series of freight cars would be more appropriate.

We’re tempted to repeat our time-worn bromide about ‘all politicians being son-of-a-bitches, except our guy, who is OUR son-of-a-bitch.’

But in this case, it seems like ‘wizzing away free taxpayer money from the federal government leads to wizzing away free taxpayer money from local government’ is more appropriate, and that’s a terrible thing.

Unless we’re wizzing it away for OUR benefit.

In closing, remember this: flies cause garbage.

Technorati Tags: Brunswick,AMTRAK,NNEPRA,trains,investment

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In case you didn’t know; the first step in your training

We’re pretty well aware that many in our readership sphere of influence think we’re a few bricks short of a full deck.  Or worse. 

So it might seem a bit presumptuous of us to suggest that we know  something that you don’t.  You can judge us on that when you finish reading this.

If you already knew what we’re about to disclose, please forgive us for under-estimating you.  But if you did, why the hell didn’t you tell us so we could avoid making an ass of ourselves in this public forum?

That’s what they sometimes call a question that answers itself.

             

Today’s lesson is about NNEPRA, an acronym for an entity that is at the center of all the passenger train activity here in Brunswick, and specifically the hubbub over the location of a mammoth layover facility on the tracks adjacent to Bouchard Drive.  You can visit their web page here: http://www.nnepra.com/.

NNEPRA stands for Northern New England Passenger Rail Authority.  Naive as we are, we took from the name that this was a multi-state endeavor of unclear pedigree, at least to us.  We had no real reason to research things, so we labored under this illusion.

Recently we came to learn that we were off the mark.  In this particular case, Northern New England equates to Maine.  And NNEPRA offices are nearby in Portland.  We have no way of knowing whether this name was chosen willy-nilly, or it was an intentional move to create an image and brand of a scale beyond reality.  Perhaps some ‘Mad-Men’ types influenced the decision.

We discovered this when we located the Maine Statute that created NNEPRA.  It turns out that NNEPRA is of a kind with the Maine State Housing Authority (MSHA); the Maine Turnpike Authority (MTA); and the Midcoast Region Redevelopment Authority (MRRA); all of which have cloaked themselves in various degrees of controversy in recent years.  As you may know, the former head of the MTA is on an extended stay at the Graybar Hotel, and the former head of MSHA decided to ‘pursue other interests’ before she risked similar accommodations.

When we say “of a kind,” we mean they all fit under the rubric of quasi-governmental agencies.  They are created by Maine Statute (law); employees have the advantages of careers with Maine State Government, including near-bullet proof job security, benefits far better than you get in the private sector, and as has become clear, higher average pay than citizens in the private domain.

Accountability, performance reviews, and other trappings of the workaday private sector are virtually non-existent, because even though they are a creation of State Government, their quasi-governmental aspect virtually eliminates any form of Executive and/or Legislative oversight.  At least until a shake things up type Governor comes along, and decides that enough is enough, and has appointment availability that allows for a change of culture.

If this isn’t making any sense to you, don’t feel like the Lone Ranger; it isn’t intended to make any sense as best we can tell.

So let’s get right to the source material.  You can read about the creation of NNEPRA here and in the paragraphs following.  The opening reads as follows:

§8111. Purpose

The Northern New England Passenger Rail Authority, as established by Title 5, section 12004-F, subsection 16, is a body both corporate and politic in the State established for the general purpose of promoting passenger rail service as set forth in subchapter 1. It is declared that the purposes of this chapter are public and that the authority must be regarded as performing a governmental function in carrying out this chapter.

The Statutes creating and defining NNEPRA date back to 1995, which means we have Angus King and his administration to thank for it, along with the legislators then in power.  So the next time you see the junior Senator from Maine, you can thank him on behalf of all of us, and especially those folks on Bouchard Drive who are expected to just ‘suck it up’ on behalf of the common good.  (And ask him to talk to his friends at Bowdoin about joining the ‘suck it up’ movement by welcoming the idling incinerator to their lovely little neighborhood.)

As fate would have it, the lead article on page 1 of today’s Portland Newspaper is about passenger train service.  You can read it here:

http://www.pressherald.com/news/expansion-of-passenger-trains-in-maine-takes-slow-track_2013-02-04.html

We suggest that when you do, you make sure your Bravo-Sierra light is lit, and you have your propaganda goggles firmly in place.  We may not be experts in the subject area, but our alarm went off more than once when we read the story.  The current head of NNEPRA had a career path in marketing, and it shows.  Having come from business development, a related field, our circuits are a good deal more sensitive than others might be.  And we don’t take kindly to disrespect for the profession.

But as we admitted yesterday, we haven’t been trained right.

Technorati Tags: NNEPRA,trains,AMTRAK,Brunswick,sucking it up

The "sound of silence," or good taxpayer money burning....

It's enough to recall the words of Austrian satirist Karl Kraus, who said, "The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience, so they believe they are as clever as he."

We’re not sure why we chose to open with this line from an article we read several years ago, except we just want to.  It may become clearer in the ‘fullness of time,’ and from what we're seeing, time is getting pretty full.




Observe the photo above, which symbolizes a blatant disregard for cash money.  For purposes of this post, this means other peoples’ money, often abbreviated ‘OPM,’ pronounced like ‘o-pi-um.’  Some readers may consider the gentleman is suggestive of a certain Johnny Protocols with another ten years or so on his bones, but we have no comment.

Continuing the random walk through the arcade that is our mind, we wonder if you remember the classic Simon and Garfunkel number from the late 60’s.  We bought the album about the same time we purchased our first house, and before long, we were wearing double-knit bell bottoms; buckle-strapped loafers; and floral patterned shirts with 6” collar points.

You’re probably having a hard time taking that all in, but trust us, it’s at least as hard for us to accept we actually lived through those years and dressed that way.  You may think we altered our mind with undocumented pharmaceuticals during that age, but we didn’t.  Unless Coors fits that bill.
In case you’ve forgotten, here are some of the lyrics:

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence.

The photo at the top of this post is characteristic of a ‘money grows on trees’ attitude.  The consequence of doing so, as many in our region and culture do, is that you tend to think of money as a ‘renewable and sustainable’ resource, more or less the equivalent of firewood.  Especially free money from governments.
We find that good intentions, most often those of the anointed ruling class, lead to the burning of public money in large amounts.  In particularly egregious cases, one thinks of incineration, as suggested in this visual:

 

Incineration requires an incinerator, that much reviled icon of the modern-day consumerist society, in which the concept of psychic waste finds fulfillment.  But allow us to suggest that we are now being visited by a new type of incinerator – a mobile one that can do its work at whatever location best suits the zeitgeist of the moment.

Imagine if this incinerator had redeeming value that endeared it to certain elements of the community.  And that it was a form of ‘audible art.’

Imagine no more, Brunswick, because this incinerator is upon us.  If you have no idea what incinerating money sounds like, you are about to find out.

That’s what we do; we give you the story you won’t get anywhere else.  We provide here a video of the mobile incinerator in action.  As we understand it, this incinerator is in use 24 hours a day, whether moving or not, and carrying passengers or not.  Seven days a week.  The dollars it’s actually burning up in fuel are only part of the story, as you can well imagine. 

This video is shot from the northeast corner of Bouchard Drive, and as you watch it, imagine that this is your plight.  As the camera pans to the left, you see the backyard fence in the house closest to the ‘action.’  Most critical is that you have your sound on and turned up so you can hear the marvelously silent sound of good money burning.  (Or should we say good borrowed money?)



To many at NNEPRA and in local officialdom, this is “the sound of silence.”  And the Amtrak train to Brunswick is a fine stand-in for ‘the neon god they made.’

We might suggest, however, that the incinerator be moved to another nearby location.  We hear tell that Bowdoin College considers itself the owner of the ‘intellectual corridor’ from Maine to Boston, now that train service has begun.  Apparently, trains can transport intellects, but busses can’t.  Anyway, in respect of Bowdoin’s ‘ownership,’ se suggest the incinerator be moved east just beyond Maine Street and The Mall.

We’re thinking that locating the incinerator just a skosh beyond the Federal Street track underpass would make it ever so much more ‘accessible’ to the Bowdoin community, including the President’s House.

In a related thought, perhaps our local creative culturati can make some professional recordings to turn this into a symphony of sorts for train buffs, or for transcription into digital form for sound effects in today’s incredible model trains.  Or feature it as an element in the great summer Music Festival.

Here at Side, we much prefer the clickety-clack rhythm of Johnny Cash in ‘The Orange Blossom Special.'  And we prefer our trains to pass by, not park and plague. 

But that’s just us.  We haven’t been properly trained.

Technorati Tags: Amtrak,Brunswick,NNEPRA,OPM

Internecine warfare, Brunswick style

Geez, how we love a good street fight.  Especially during the cat days of winter.  Now that we can’t seem to find our mobile mural, we need something else to suck up the diesel fumes in Brunswick, and we just may have found it.

You’ve probably heard the slang word ‘demo’ used over the years, in statements like ‘we need to demo the old Times Record Building,’  where it means demolish.

In the street fight we’re here to tell you about, ‘demo’ has double meanings: demolish, and Democrat, the latter being the political party.  In keeping with the internecine theme of the title, local Democrats look like they’re out to demolish each other in a personal demolition derby. 

Like most of you, we no longer subscribe to, buy, or read The Ostrich, ever since they refused to run a tab for us, even though we did for their local property taxes.  Occasionally, however, we do come upon a diaphanous copy at a local dentist’s office, where reading it cover to cover provides two or three minutes of distraction, like most of the typical magazines these days.

Because of our inattention to the local paragon of news media printicide, we missed the opening public throw-down in this brewing brouhaha.  But we caught up fast on this furious story, and we want you to as well.

So let us introduce you to the participants:

In this corner, Senator ‘Stan the Man’ Gerzofsky, now in his 13th straight year of legislative service, if we count right.  In this corner, ‘Johnny Protocols’ Richardson; now a Town Councilor, a former mentor of the Senator, one-time gubernatorial candidate, one-time Speaker of the House, one time DECD, and BFF with FLee Bailey.  And in this corner, Jackie Sartoris, newly minted lawyer and former multi-term Town Councilor. 

We hold her in especially high esteem because she tried very hard to make sure the rule allowing public comment at the start of Council meetings wouldn’t pass, and also publicly labeled this reporter a liar (‘a teller of fictions.’)  There’s no need to mention how she once told us in an official email that ‘honesty isn’t always the best policy.’  It wouldn’t add anything to this discussion.

It almost seems, when you get the picture, that a circular firing squad could be forming.  Another player or two would make the imagery more complete.  Town Manager Gary Brown has shown some flashes of political pugilism from time to time; perhaps he’d like to take another corner.  And it wouldn’t surprise us if before long a few masked locals can’t stand to just watch the action, climb over the ropes, and toss a few stools around to join in the rope-a-dope theater.  This could easily surpass the popularity of the Kabuki Theater of years past.

So what are we talking about?  The throw-down we mentioned earlier,  penned by Counselor Sartoris.  You can read it here:

http://www.maineenvironews.com/Home/tabid/97/mid/628/newsid628/25319/Default.aspx

If you’re not tempted to read it yet, maybe these samples will spur you on:

Stan has waged a long, quiet, successful battle for enormous control in Brunswick. Every councilor serving Brunswick from 2005 to 2006 remembers the quiet coup resulting in our town losing not just control, but the mere opportunity to participate effectively, concerning redevelopment of the former Brunswick Naval Air Station.

I watched Stan play councilors off one another, making temporary alliances to gain more control. Stan is a masterful political practitioner, with his own jujitsu: the quid pro quo, the quid pro no quo, and the no quid, no quo. At every turn, the council chose not to fight Stan publicly. At every turn, it was the wrong decision.

The more we think about it, the more we can see that Steve Levesque (separated at birth from Stan?) and long time former Council Chair Joanne King might be tempted to jump into the ring as well.

Politically, it’s already widely expected that JP is planning another run at the Blaine House, if not higher; Jackie has now officially thrown her hat into the State Senate ring; and while we don’t know what Stan has planned, we’re damn sure it doesn’t include giving up life in the political spotlight.

The danger here, of course, is that this could easily escalate from internecine warfare to interporcine warfare.

While a winter skating pond in the town mall has its charms, we doubt the Public Works department would take kindly to a mud pit in the summer.

Either way, the publicity this brings to our sleepy little village of Perfect can only make sure than no single ‘actor’ gets to hog the spotlight.

Public barbeque anyone?

Technorati Tags: Brunswick,politics,Democrats,infighting,street fighting

Phishing phor phlunkies and phools: consider yourselph phorwarned.

Iph it’s not too late, that is.

Because we got suckered in, and iph you are a member of Side’s inner circle, you may have been aphphected by what happened.

We’re usually pretty suspicious of emails that somehow don’t seem pro-phorma, or otherwise set ophph alarms.  And we have what we consider to be pretty ephphective intrusion detection software, including philtering of our email in box.

But yesterday, a ‘phishing’ expedition hooked us.  In our inbox appeared an email appearing to be phrom a phriend of some years, but one with whom we exchange at most a phew emails a year, and usually very brieph ones passing along some item of interest.

So the message yesterday seemed pretty typical of him.  It simply read ‘check this out,’ phollowed by one of those quirky looking ‘tinyurl’ type links consisting of a jumble of letters and numbers.

Stupidly, we clicked on the link, and a clearly suspicious web site appeared, which we quickly closed.  No matter, that did the damage.  Ironically, we had a very similar message from a far less well known contact first, and had the good sense not to take that bait.

Before long, we had all sorts of ‘undeliverable’ reports in our inbox, reflecting outdated/invalid email addresses in our records.  And a smattering of messages from friends asking if and/or suggesting that we had been ‘phished.’

So, you are now phorewarned about this practice; don’t go phor it.  And iph we set you up phor a phall by extension, our humble apologies to you.

We’ll have to see if we get multiple cycles of the same thing from those we inphected yesterday; we sure hope not.

Technorati Tags: malware,spam,phishing

Maine Wire: Everyone has a champion in the school bureaucracy — except the children

Now that the new year has turned, towns across the state have entered the semester of budget preparation, presentation, deliberation, and enactment.  This seems like a good time to review the factors, organizations, and political pathologies that drive school system priorities, in particular.

Last year, we addressed school budget theatrics in this column: http://www.themainewire.com/2012/06/op-ed-not-so-secret-libretto-tricks-school-budget-intimidation/. Now I intend to prove that the only group that has no champion in the process is the children themselves.  Hear me out.

I live in Brunswick; I don’t know where you live, dear reader.  No matter, I know that my town and yours are like faraway, fairy-tale Lake Wobegone.  Our schools are the best, each of our teachers is excellent, and all our students are above average.  So what follows doesn’t apply to you and me; it’s for all those who don’t enjoy our unfair advantages.

Read the entire column here:

http://www.themainewire.com/2013/01/group-champion-educational-system-children/

Technorati Tags: children,budgets,Maine Wire,education reform,education bureaucracy

Weekend Tidbits

Herewith a few ‘curiosities’ to keep your juices flowing and your mind sharp.  Side came across this first one in the Wall Street Journal:

From an 1876 speech by Civil War veteran, orator and Republican Party figure Robert Ingersoll:

I will now give you my ideas about finance. In the first place the Government does not support the people, the people support the Government.

The Government is a perpetual pauper. It passes round the hat, and solicits contributions; but then you must remember that the Government has a musket behind the hat. The Government produces nothing. It does not plow the land, it does not sow corn, it does not grow trees. The Government is a perpetual consumer.

We support the Government. Now, the idea that the Government can make money for you and me to live on—why, it is the same as though my hired man should issue certificates of my indebtedness to him for me to live on.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323482504578226122035177756.html

This next one we saw posted on an on-line bulletin board we frequent, under the title “A Lesson In Irony.”

The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us

"Please Do Not Feed the Animals."

Their stated reason for the policy is because "The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of
themselves."

Thus ends today's lesson in irony.

That’s for sure!

Technorati Tags: irony,federal government

Whither Goest The Downtown Art Show?

                      

“Well,” he says, in an exasperated combination of a sigh and frustration.

“So this is the thanks we get.”

Exactly one week ago, we went out of our way to publish a glowing report on “an artistic breakthrough of enormous scale,”…. “a mobile, many-axled, two-faced, multi-panel mural” art exhibit, “erected smack-dab in the very heart of our signature venue.”  Right here in Brunswick, that is.

Giving as we are, our fully illustrated paean was a gracious free advertisement for the exhibit, and we’re confident, had inspired many to come from far and wide to view this one-of-a-kind, mixed-media grand offering. 

But now it’s gone, and those coming to see it will have to endure disappointment in addition to the frigid temperatures.  Will they ever trust Side again in such matters?  Only The Shadow knows.

All we can do at this point is try to find the mural, and see if we can convince local authorities to restore it to it’s prior location, where it was accessible to all, independent of their station in life and income.  Art novice or art elite, it was there for all to enjoy, breathing life into a listless winter landscape.

As to the disappointment of those who came only to find the mural had vanished, welcome to Brunswick, where disappointment is a staple of civic life.

Technorati Tags: Brunswick,Maine Street Station,art exhibit

Brunswick’s Pied Pipers: The blind lead the blind on the road paved with good intentions

‘In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.’

We open with this chestnut because it may well characterize the situation in Brunswick.  Here in Perfect, known to the little people as Brunswick, we have a sizable number of the figuratively blind. 

Their blindness, we are told, is caused by good intentions, that all-purpose explanation for any number of civic blunders and pathologies.  We, as you know, are obliged to accept the often flawed visions of these anointed because of their noble intent.  And compelled to pay for whatever they dream up as they dance and sing along the j-axis.

The blindness kicks into high gear whenever it encourages and confirms their dearly desired scenarios, no matter how foolish or unfounded in reality they may be.  And if you throw a practiced piper or two into the mix, you end up with a parade to celebrate the blindness.

Who are they, these blind?  And these pipers?  Here are some examples.

1) Those who wrote to The Ostrich following the announcement that Brunswick Naval Air Station would close, asserting that Brunswick ‘would continue to grow,’ even though Brunswick had not grown for years.

2) Sally Sellit, the Queen of local real estate agents, who repeatedly insists that people move to Brunswick ‘because of our excellent schools,’ while ignoring why families seem to move out of Brunswick at a higher rate.

3) Those who asserted that the ‘revitalization’ of low-cost former Naval  housing in the McKeen Street project would drive enrolment increases in our school system.

4) Brunswick Community United: the Imagine and Invest crowd, who are convinced that if you pay teachers more next year, they’ll do a better job teaching the children than they are doing this year.  You know, like John Arbuckle and Yuban, ‘you get what you pay for.’  (Note: they’re right; if you pay teachers more, you get higher paid teachers.)

5) Planning Decisions, Inc: all purpose Faustian consultants, who make their living rationalizing the fantasies of various dreamers, imaginers, and gullible clueless in our midst.  In the process, they scarf up taxpayer funds while providing air cover for whatever ill conceived proposals are in need of professional impetus and sanction. 

6) And last, but not least, PDT Architects, who regardless of reality, create narratives urgently calling for vast civic investments in community assets, which they will, oh so incidentally, rake in a share of.  They should rename themselves Conflicted Interest Architects, given their modus operandi.  Like Dillinger, they know where the money is, and how to pry it loose, or more properly, get their ‘clients’ to do so.

We say the following with sincere regret but no apologies: all of the above are boneheads of one species or another.  But they are accomplished and effective boneheads, because they hold sway over the elected officials responsible for overseeing the town enterprise: the Town Council and the School Board, and related professional staff.  Many of them earn their living by such means, and are rewarded handsomely for their ability to schmooze and charm ruling class boneheads.

Given this backdrop, let’s give you some cheery news we’re confident you won’t read about anywhere else.  The Brunswick School Department enrolment reported to Maine’s Department of Education for October 2012 is 2,345, a decline of 69 from the April 2012 report.  Or nearly 3% in 6 months.

This continues a non-stop decline in enrolment since the high point of 3,372 in the 04/05 school year.  Ergo, claiming this is some sort of aberration or anomaly is bogus.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that in polite community discourse.

Let’s look at this no doubt ‘unexpected’ down turn vis-a-vis the prophesies from the sages mentioned above; we’ll do so by the numbers.

1) The Ostrich itself may be the trademark dispenser of delusional propaganda here in Perfect.  Or, if you prefer, poppycock, or for the more imaginative, balderdash. They willingly give voice and column space to the loonies who between slugs of Kool-Aid tell us that up is down and left is right, and that the laws of physics and economics are, you know, so yesterday.

2) It’s been said real estate sales is for those who couldn’t make it selling used cars.  Or is it the other way around?  You know the type: adept at describing a total wreck as ‘a rustic blank canvas waiting for you to express your originality.’ 

Much like our Federal masters, who ignore those dropping out of the work force and new applications for unemployment insurance, while trumpeting ‘new jobs created,’ Sally sees only those transactions that confirm her sales pitch to unsuspecting clients.  Right up there with ‘Brunswick has the best schools’ is the claim that we are a great winter getaway for those who want to warm up in a tropical atmosphere.  It doesn’t hurt that the word gullible is not in the dictionary.

3) Let’s hand it to Mr. Schott and his efforts to turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse on McKeen Street.  He’s had some success at repopulating this in-town neighborhood that should be driving school enrolment through the roof, if you believe the nimrods who inform our local discourse.  We can only wonder how much lower enrolment would be if he hadn’t worked his magic on McKeen Street, in housing oh so affordable and close to the crown jewel of our school system. 

All conveniently forget that the prior military population was essentially frozen in time, providing a constant supply of students, while non-military residents do no such thing.

4) As to Brunswick Community United, how do you reason with schoolies who are rounded up and organized by the academics at our local Ivory Tower?  (Remember Professor Klingle, the genius of previous budget cycles?  See this to refresh your memory, and more.  Re-reading his thoughts, we’re concerned that he’s been coaching Johnny Protocols.)   

If you believe that paying teachers more next year means they’ll teach better next year, then you have to believe that a Bowdoin degree awarded next year is worth more than one awarded last year, because the faculty is making more.  In a related story, did you know that if you say the word ‘gullible’ very slowly, it sounds just like ‘oranges?’

5) Planning Decisions must have worked on the 2010 census, or at least be students of census techniques. 3000 plus military personnel and their family members left Brunswick and surrounding communities when the base closed, yet our population was reported to be essentially unchanged since 2000! 

PDI has conducted two enrolment studies for the school department.  The first was issued in 2004, before base closure was announced.  We’re trying to find out how much these studies cost us, but haven’t succeeded yet; when we do, we’ll let you know.

The 2004 report, when forecasting enrolment in the current (2012-2013) school year, without Durham high school students, projected 2,779 students as ‘best fit,’ with a low range estimate of 2,544, and a high range estimate of 3,004.  This included military dependents living in Brunswick, but as you’ll see in a moment, that amounts to a ‘so what.’  The ‘best fit number’ is over reality by 434 students, an 18% mistake.

The 2007 revision to the PDI report took base closure into account.  We can’t know for sure, but we’ve always wondered if this effort was driven by our civil suit challenging the State’s decision to fund a new school in Brunswick, because that decision was made before BNAS closure was announced.  It put forth three estimates: a best fit model; a base closing Scenario 1; and a base closing Scenario 2.  Strangely, almost beyond belief, all three ended up with school enrolment of 2,927 four years from now. 

For the current school year, the best fit model projected 2,963; base closing Scenario 1 projected 2,896; and base closing Scenario 2 projected 2,727.  So wouldn’t you know; with base closing thrown into the mix, PDI upped the ‘best fit’ projection for the current year by almost 200.  Scenario 1 came in 350 higher than the low range estimate in 2004, and Scenario 2 came in almost equal to the 2004 ‘best fit’ figure.  All three projections exceed reality by nearly 400 or much, much more.

Interestingly, the 2927 figure for Best Fit in 2016-17 is the low point.  In base closing Scenario 1, the low point is 2,687 in 2009-10, while in Scenario 2, the low point is 2,704 in 2010-11.  In the latter two cases, enrolment increases steadily after the low points.  Yah, schurr.

In fact, if PDI was even close to correct, we’d be looking for taxpayers to fund ANOTHER new school to hold the 600 students beyond current reality!  It’s a damn good thing we closed Longfellow and Jordan Acres, wouldn’t you say?  All the more work for PDT Architects to do laying out a $50 million plus plan for Brunswick Schools.

6) We have no words to express our disdain for PDT, which seems to be thee Pied Piper for Brunswick projects.  How can you question a professional architect when he emphasizes ‘for the children’ priorities?  And presents his recommendations to elected officials who sought their offices to make things better ‘for the children,’ even if they can’t think of any other way than spending more to do so?  When we already have ‘the best schools?’

What really fries our shorts about all of this is the now predictable routine of paying so called professional consultants excessively higher labor rates than called for to tell us that we have to spend more taxpayer money no matter what else has to be done. 

Or not done.  But that is not in the realm of possibilities.  Do you really think you can find a ‘consultant’ who will tell you that you are way over equipped, or spending way too much, to deliver a quality service?  Are you kidding me? 

Take a look at the schools they design and the reports they generate, and it’s not hard to envision them taking out archived offerings from past ‘successes,’ and putting on a new coat of lipstick to serve them up for us.

Do you think there’s a professional anywhere who would dare suggest that Jordan Acres could have become the new police station, or even been preserved as a useful school asset?

As they say in the movies, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.  Or mix up a new pitcher of Kool-Aid if that be your preference.  As you enjoy your mellow mood, thank your lucky charms that we now have J.P. Richardson on the town council, anxious to pander to and patronize the schoolies and their accomplices.  While not knowing squat about the budget history of our schools and the runaway growth in per-student costs.  Not to mention the plan presented last May to add more than 35 personnel to department staff.

Come to think of it, J.P. may be the leading candidate to play the king role in the opening chestnut of this post.

Somehow “Always Look At the Bright Side of Your Life” comes to mind.  If that means nothing to you, here’s a visual embodying the same sentiment.

Technorati Tags: Brunswick Schools,enrolment,nincompoops,schoolies,consultants