“Quality of Place:” How five Downeaster round trips will provide it, 24 hours each and every day

                   

Part of the fascination of living in Brunswick, America’s perfect little town, is reveling in the dreams of the moment, each of which inspires us as a ‘community’ to invest not only our dollars, but our self-esteem, in those dreams, no matter how distant they may seem, or misguided they may be.

In recent years, the dream of passenger rail service coming to town has given rise to euphoria among a devoted segment of local believers in the ability of government, flush with OPM - backed by printed subsidy dollars - to bring perfection to otherwise imperfect ‘places.’

Do you recall this post: http://othersideofbrunswick.blogspot.com/2014/04/quality-of-place-downtown-master-plan.html - from April of this year?  It featured the cute little graphic above, and commented on the fascination of many with the concept of ‘place’ and ‘place-making.’  Such terminology is important; it marks the utterer as ‘in touch with contemporary community visioning,’ just as calling the dining room in your home a ‘space’ will elevate your stature among the ‘interior design’ elite, who used to be called ‘decorators.’ 

We hope you’ll take a few moments to reread the post, because it provides a useful preamble to our thoughts here.  Perhaps it will distract you from the stuff falling from above that momentarily threatens our QOP.

We thought of the post as we pondered the Downeaster dream, especially as it relates to Brunswick.  Perhaps the two most important aspects of the dream are these.  First, unless the Amtrak Maintenance and Layover Facility are built ASAP in the Bouchard Drive neighborhood, Downeaster service to Brunswick simply cannot go on. 

Second, that building the MLF will allow expanding Brunswick to Boston service to 5 (five!!) round trips per day, which will, in no time at all, turn our peaceful little village into the economic powerhouse that has always been its rightful destiny.  It simply requires the right dreamers to make it real.  Aided, of course, by various and sundry unsubstantiated endorsements from the BDA and their loyal supplicants.

It goes without saying, as our readers well know, that expecting authorities engaged in such forward thinking plans to respect applicable laws, regulations, zoning, comprehensive plans, and socio-environmental considerations is entirely unreasonable. There are, after all, special exceptions that must apply when those to whom things have been revealed decide to act on our behalves, in order to realize whatever the vision of the moment might be.   

Stick-in-the-muds that we are, we decided to think about things anyway.  Particularly as it relates to expansion to five daily round trips between Maine Street Station (that’s in Brunswick) and Boston.  As we often do, we decided to begin at the beginning. 

So we put our hands on the current Downeaster schedule, effective October 6, 2014.  Here’s the southbound weekday schedule; the weekend schedule is pretty much the same, except that the second digit in the train number jumps from 8 to 9.  (The D means it “stops to discharge passengers only.”)

For sake of discussion, we decided to extrapolate the current schedule to originate all trips in Brunswick, without changing the existing stops shown in the schedule, since the timing was surely arrived at to satisfy the needs of those heading to the final destination….Boston.

Doing so results in 680 departing Brunswick at 4:25 am (stopping in Freeport at 4:40 am); 684 departing at 11:50 am (Freeport stop 12:05 pm); and 686 leaving Brunswick at 1:40 pm (Freeport stop 1:55 pm).

To complete the thought process, we have to extrapolate the northbound schedule as well, shown here.  In this case, the R means the train stops to pick up passengers only.  The comment regarding weekend schedules applies as well: train number middle digits change from 8 to 9. 

Here again, we simply filled the missing Northbound stops in by extrapolating the existing runs, because they are surely driven by the needs of the big city commuters from Boston to Portland.  Doing so ends up with all trains terminating in Brunswick.  683 arrives in Brunswick at 2:50 pm, with a Freeport stop at 2:35 pm; 687 arrives in Brunswick at 8:55 pm (Freeport stop at 8:40 pm); and 689 arrives at Maine Street Station at 2:10 am, after a sleepy stop in Freeport at 1:55 am.

Wow; what a glorious future this portends for Brunswick, especially as it relates to Quality of Place.  In case they haven’t jumped out at you yet, some immediate conclusions can be drawn from this scenario.

Let’s go through those that have occurred to your correspondent (so far.)

1)  It takes close to 3.5 hours for an end to end run from B-town to B-town, so a round trip has the tracks in use for 7 hours in round numbers.  Five round trips means the tracks have to be in use a minimum of 35 hours in each 24 hour day.  Given that the vast majority of the route is single tracked, the implications for careful and precise track utilization management are clear.  We should add that we don’t know what the demands of freight transport add to the mix.

2)  It’s our  understanding that the Downeaster currently operates three train sets.  Can they operate five round trips with only three?  We’re not sure, so we checked with Professor Murphy, who seems to have the requisite skills in such matters.  He told us that Murphy’s Law of Passenger Rail Operations says to figure on increasing the train sets to four for sure.  Ka-ching, ka-ching.

3)  That 4:25 am departure from Brunswick should require rolling the train set out of the MLF at 3:45 am or so, and taking it to the station.  The “Visitors Center” should be open no later than 4:00 am to service departing passengers.

4)  The 2:10 am arrival in Brunswick should require rolling the train set back to the MLF about 2:30 am or so, which means the MLF will be, for all practical purposes, operating 24 hours a day, moving trains back and forth and servicing the Downeaster train sets, however many it takes.  The “Visitors Center” should be open until 2:30 am or so to provide appropriate services and a warm welcome to arriving passengers. 

5)  So the center at the station will be busy for more than 22 hours every day.  A small price to pay for the numerous benefits of visitors bringing their dollars to town.  We trust the Taxi service and in town hotels/motels/B&B’s will be ready to pick up and check in these souls.

6)  In wintertime, the three later northbound trains from Boston will be operating in night-time conditions from end to end.  Of the southbound trains, the first and last will be operating in night-time conditions as well during the shortest days.  We trust all those charged with operating safety of the trains will be prepared for the challenges.

7)  Significant cost factors remain to be assessed and planned for, especially since the Downeaster is a ‘loss leader’ and requires perpetual subsidies to continue operating.  The failure to win their latest TIGER grant request only hints at the scale of the problem.  What will it cost to add at least one train set to the mix?  How will Amtrak’s mandated doubling of fees to operators effect fares, and hence ridership, not to mention ongoing subsidy amounts?  How much more will Brunswick have to spend annually for Station operation support?

8)  We’ll set this item aside as “TBD,” and we expect alert and insightful readers will be helping us to fill it in.

9)  Because the specifics are currently unknowable, we couldn’t even begin to factor in the additional burdens and complications of the MBTA’s proposed utilization of the Brunswick MLF as discussed in this post just two months ago: http://othersideofbrunswick.blogspot.com/2014/09/when-bubble-bursts-what-do-you-suppose.html.  It referred to this document which made specific reference to potential use of the Brunswick MLF.  How this would play into operating schedules for the MLF, and more importantly, track corridor utilization and management, is beyond our ken.  But Shirley knows a Ken at the responsible government agency who will take the challenge ‘under advisement.’

            

We’re not sure how many of you are familiar with the concept of a ‘blivot,’ but this visual hints at the meaning we learned in our college days, admittedly a very long time ago.  We’ll leave it to you to add your own nuances, based on experience you might have had with others attempting to overstuff various containers.

Technorati Tags: Amtrak,Downeaster,NNEPRA,Brunswick,Quality of Place

Stunned: a rare occurrence (updated)

This will not be the first time we report on the zeitgeist on the Bowdoin campus here in town; we’ve taken plenty of flak for doing so in the past, and it bothers us not.  Much of it has been in response to comments we posted on the Bowdoin Orient web site.

 

            

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We realized we had not found a copy of the weekly paper in town for a week or two, so we went to their web site for our dose of intellectual inquiry and enlightenment within the context of the ‘liberal arts ethos.’

We came upon several items that we think will give you a better appreciation of what makes the news in an elite institution of higher learning.  As part of gaining a Bachelor’s degree at the advertised cost of a cool quarter million or so.  (Admittedly, that isn’t much in a town that gives away the same amount to a local well connected Taxi company.)

We’ll just list the items for you, and warn you that some of the content is juvenile beyond belief, but with appropriate neurotic overtones that raise the subject to an issue of high intellectual pursuit.  This  item, simply enough, is titled “Poop Culture:” http://bowdoinorient.com/article/9601  It includes this passage, reminiscent of “The Anal Retentive Chef” skit on SNL many years ago:

One hypothesis is that many Bowdoin students seek to project an image of perfection, even at the cost of their own well-being. The counseling staff at Bowdoin is acutely aware of this—Director of Counseling Services, Bernie Hershberger, says he especially enjoys aiding students with perfectionism anxiety.

Moving back to the highest plane of academia, we find this editorial on the subject of a proposed “financial accounting class:”  http://bowdoinorient.com/article/9626

We believe that the Curriculum Implementation Committee is working diligently to create an appropriate course, but want more than Judd’s assurances—we want a full explanation of how the proposed course will promote critical inquiry and honor the tradition of the liberal arts.

We wonder if the same high thresholds are imposed for Calculus, Chemistry, etc.  And we despair that any suggestion that the college might make a good collaborator in an economic study of Downeaster benefits could not take place without ‘the tradition of the liberal arts’ inserting itself.

Moving on, we know our readers are verklempt over the concept of “gender binary.”  How could you not be?  So read up here: http://bowdoinorient.com/article/9591

There seems to be a growing dialogue at Bowdoin about how our social codes of masculinity and femininity limit our range of self-expression and use of space.

If nothing else, these articles should provide an unwelcomed distraction from the fire-hosing of political commercials currently assaulting us.

Enjoy…and remember, “what would Brunswick be without Bowdoin?  Nothing!”

Which makes about as much sense as “what would Bowdoin be without the Downeaster?  Imprisoned.”

Technorati Tags: Bowdoin College,Brunswick

50 years ago: “A time for choosing….”

Fifty years ago today, Ronald Reagan gave a compelling speech in support of Barry Goldwater, who was running against Lyndon Johnson in the 1964 Presidential election.

You have to be of ‘a certain age’ to remember 1964, Barry Goldwater, Lyndon Johnson, or even the speaker, Ronald Reagan, even though the latter was a central factor of our public lives from 1980 through 1988.

We reread the speech today, and were stunned once again by how direct and insightful it was in nailing the circumstances and political discourse of that time.  And how prescient Reagan was in characterizing the trends he saw emerging then, and where they would lead us.

Sadly, we did not take his words seriously, and we are now much, much deeper into the morass of the welfare state and other irreversible big government consequences he foresaw.

We hope you’ll take the time to either read the text of the speech, or watch the video.  If the latter, you’ll be shocked by the simplicity of TV productions back then.  Both are available here:

http://www.themainewire.com/2014/10/a-time-choosing/

We hope you’ll agree that your time was well spent for doing so, even if you don’t agree with our ‘world view.’  The contrast between the current times and Reagan’s words should stun you, regardless of your inclinations.

Technorati Tags: History,politics,Reagan

Our latest Maine Wire item….

          

Yours truly had a column published on the Maine Wire web site today; you can find it here: http://www.themainewire.com/2014/10/season/

In it, we attempt to contrast the approach the three candidates take in pursuing the office of Governor. one being an incumbent, of course, which was not the case four years ago.  So the dynamics are different than they were then, even though two of the three candidates are the same.

The opening words are as follows:

Who was it that said election time is ‘silly season?’  For years I’ve rolled with that description, but more and more, it seems to be ‘trashing season’ and ‘fibbing season.’

To that point, in our three way gubernatorial race, we see a peculiar juxtaposition of campaign approaches.  The incumbent emphasizes his stewardship of the ship of state during his current term, and how he plans to manage the enterprise should he be re-elected.

The two challengers, exactly as you might expect, do their level best to move votes away from the incumbent with time-tested, consultant driven enticements.  One says he’ll lower property taxes, clearly very high in our humble, mostly rural state, by 20 to 40%, and pay for it with a 1% increase in the sales tax.  The other says he’ll buy us the new things we want by virtue of ‘budget priorities.’

We hope you find the comparison of approaches informative.  In the alternative, you can amuse yourself by yelling at your screen what an idiot we are.

In either case, we appreciate your continued readership, and we’ll do our best to keep earning it.

We’re confident others will do their best to keep seeking our attention, and we hope they appreciate our thoughtful commentary on their efforts, worthy or not.

Technorati Tags: Maine Wire,politics,campaigns

The Press Herald: In view of the bus, why would anyone drive???

The weekend edition of the Portland Press Herald has a relatively new section called “Source,” which is all about ‘farm to table,’ organic everything, ‘locavores,’ and anything else deemed sustainable and green in today’s cultural milieu.  Kale, the all purpose wonder-food, has a starring role.  I believe they’re hoping to find it can fuel your car and heat your house, among other things.

Tucked away on the back page of the section yesterday was an article with this heading and by-line (emphasis is ours):

What’s that? The bus to Boston

By PEGGY GRODINSKY Source Editor

Near the bottom of the screen on the home page of Concord Coach Lines, right after “Online ticketing available” and a little before “Are you looking for a career change?” comes the question “Why would anyone drive?”

In case the query doesn’t sink in, it’s written there twice – the second time in a rambling and jaunty lavender cursive. Make that thrice. Scroll down again, and the website for the bus line that carries passengers from Orono and points south to Boston notes, “Travel by Motorcoach is the greenest way to travel, according to Getting there Greener, a recent study conducted by the Union of Concerned Scientists, comparing energy consumption, ridership (passenger miles), and CO2 emissions for autos, passenger trains, and motorcoaches. Why would anyone drive?”

                              

Why? Because it’s convenient. Or at least most Americans think it is, even when the evidence (sitting in traffic) tells them otherwise. Boston, incidentally, is ranked 11th out of 101 American cities for “total annual delay” in a 2012 Texas A&M University’s Annual Urban Mobility Report; a high ranking here is probably not an honor cities seek.

Convenience is also what makes us so lucky to have this bus, which runs from Portland once an hour every day of the week and delivers passengers to downtown Boston or to Logan airport. In comfort. On time (well, mostly). While the bus driver deals with the traffic, the snow and the stress, you can read. Or play computer Scrabble. Or watch the movie that the bus screens (admittedly, not usually one I’ve wanted to watch). Or simply zone out, all the while feeling smug that you are such a very responsible green, “greenest” apparently, citizen of the world. And once you reach Boston, a beastly place to drive, an even worse one in which to park, you simply disembark and go on your merry way.

Why would anyone drive?

Indeed.  Or, in so many words, take a train?

Talk about heresy.  We expect Ms. Grodinsky was the recipient of some heated phone calls bright and early this morning, and perhaps a wire brushing in the corner office.

                              

The Princess and Prince of Choo-Choo Kingdom can’t be any too pleased by this endorsement of bus travel.  We expect them to have kale removed from the Downeaster Café menu immediately to show their royal displeasure.

“Out damned kale, out we say!”

Technorati Tags: Press,bus,train

Hurry Hurry! Get them before they’re all gone!!!!!

          

Or maybe not.

                                  

As we wrote recently, the spiritual leaders of the Amtrak revival in Maine have been rationalizing the sparse ridership (average ~ 10%  of capacity) of Downeasters departing and arriving Brunswick station by claiming the trains are ‘sold out farther down south,’ and hence passengers wanting to depart or arrive Brunswick station can’t buy seats.

In that post, exactly one week ago, we related how we looked into reserving 8 seats in each direction between the two Downeaster termini, from Sunday, October 19th, and every day after that until the end of the month – Friday, October 31st.

We were shocked, shocked we tell you, that not a single train scheduled to operate was sold out.  We could reserve the 8 seats for any of them.

We decided yesterday we should update the story.  So in the last 24 hours, we looked into reserving 8 seats in each direction between Boston and Brunswick, for each day from Saturday, November 1st through Monday, November 10th.

Surprise, surprise!  We were just as shocked as before to find out we could reserve 8 seats in either direction for any of the trains scheduled to operate, including the ‘hybrid’ bus-train trips.

So once again, we call Bravo Sierra on the stories being told by those who operate and advocate for the Downeaster service.

At what point do serious adults who expect integrity in public affairs declare that those story-tellers have absolutely no credibility when it comes to their areas of responsibility?  And cease to listen to them as if they do?

                        

For us, that point has long since passed. 

Sadly, for all too many in our midst, that point will never come, because it would mean giving up on the dream and the illusion.  And at the same time, admitting their own gullibility, if not lost integrity.

Technorati Tags: Amtrak,NNEPRA,Downeaster,Brunswick

Time for some homework, students!

All right, class, take your seats, please.  It’s time to go over your assignments for the next few days, which means you can work on things over the weekend.

We have for you a number of reading assignments, each of which should broaden your grasp of the complexities of modern day civic life, and perhaps furnish a few laughs as well.

Let’s start with this one: http://ti.org/antiplanner/?p=9664#comments

In it, you’ll find straightforward thoughts like this:

1. Transportation spending can stimulate economic development only if it generates new travel that didn’t exist before. Transportation projects that merely persuade people to change from one mode to another or one corridor to another might influence where economic development takes place, but will not (our edit) produce any net additional development.

If you’re adventurous, with a thirst for knowledge, you’ll find links to various other sources that should grab your interest.

Now how about this one, about “understanding planner speak:” http://ti.org/FS6.html 

We found it to be a bundle of laughs, perfectly attuned to the unique personality of our funny bone; so much so, we wonder if it wasn’t written by a long lost cousin.  While it clearly stems from a long term discussion taking place in Portland Left, the sentiments are widely relevant.  Like these:

Congestion Mitigation/Air Quality Fund:  a federal fund of $1 billion per year used to increase congestion and reduce air quality.

Mass Transit:  transportation that doesn't go when or where you need it, is useless for shopping, often requires standing in the rain, and is much slower than driving yourself.

Besides, if you engage in a little reflection, you may well conclude that Portland Left tries to insert itself in Cape Brunswick affairs now and again.

            

Moving on, let’s take this one:  http://www.coyoteblog.com/coyote_blog/2014/10/phoenix-light-rail-update-we-spent-1-4billion-to-reduce-transit-ridership.html

It provides a little hard data from the Phoenix area, something most members of the governing elite class despise.  Be sure to read the comments following the brief material content, including this:

There is a good explanation for this.  Because light rail is so much more expensive, the cost per rider for the entire transit system has skyrocketed.  With budgets unable to be increased this fast (and with fares covering only a tiny percentage of rail costs), the system must cut back somewhere.  Since rail can't really be cut back, bus routes are cut.

        

Now just one more item: http://reason.org/news/show/urban-transit-myths

While published in 1998, we submit that the enduring realities of urban myth promulgation render the material entirely valid.  On the other hand, now that we brush the sand from our eyes, we remember that NNEPRA was created in 1995. so the report was written after the operator of the Downeaster was established, by law. 

From this item:

Public transit plays an important role in providing mobility to those without access to automobiles as well as those who prefer not to drive. Unfortunately, America’s public transit policies suffer from numerous myths that are harmful to both transit and to American cities. This report discusses ten of the most dangerous and widely believed transit myths:

The Subsidy Myth:
Transportation subsidies are unfairly biased towards autos and highways, so we must increase transit funding to provide balanced transportation.

The Reality:
At least since 1975, transit subsidies have been tens to hundreds of times greater than highway subsidies. Moreover, a quarter of the transit subsidies have been paid directly by auto drivers.

Sound transit policy requires that policymakers understand the reality behind these myths. Funds available for transit will always be limited. It is therefore incumbent on policymakers to invest these limited funds in ways that produce the greatest value for the taxpayer’ dollars.

Read that last line, and ask yourself if anyone can say, with a straight face, that policymakers are doing just that.   Oh, and you can read the full report here, complete with detailed graphics, etc.

                                        

While we’re at it, we’ll remind you that the creation of NNEPRA and it’s Downeaster operation never, ever had anything to do with “value for taxpayer’ dollars.”  NNEPRA was created by legislative edict, and not one aspect of what it is directed to do has anything to do with tradeoffs, economic rationale, or anything else of the sort.

It’s only charge is making passenger rail happen, and figuring out how to pay for it as they go along.

Because there’s no way to make it pay.

But they sure know how to make you pay, even though you don’t realize it.

One more thing; why not take a look here as well: http://americandreamcoalition.org/rail2005.html

You’ll find these words of introduction:

Rail Disasters 2005 (2.5MB) examines two decades worth of ridership data in nearly every U.S. urban area with rail transit and finds that ridership has declined or stagnated in nearly two out of three of them. Ridership or passenger miles travel have kept up with driving in only three out of twenty-three rail urban areas.

By contrast, the report identifies numerous urban areas with bus-only transit whose transit ridership has grown far faster than driving, including Austin, Las Vegas, and Raleigh-Durham. Based on this and other information, the report concludes that cities and regions that want to boost transit ridership are better off improving their bus systems than building expensive rail lines.

None of this matters, though, when you’re all about loving the choo-choo, and expect others to pay for your obsession.

                      

Technorati Tags: Amtrak,Downeaster,common sense,homework

Chance checks in to give us an Enterprise update…

       

Well wouldn’t you just know it.

Sometimes our friend Chance taps us on the shoulder and passes along a good suggestion.

In this case, it has to do with the outlook for continued Enterprise presence at the “Visitors Center” at Brunswick’s Maine Street Station.

Or as we sometimes call it, the Departure Center.

Departure Shirley applies in this case.  Since the info we passed along to you in our related post earlier today was a few weeks old, we thought it appropriate to check for updates on the details.

                

The operation consists of an actual Enterprise staffer ‘manning’ the desk at so called ‘busy times.’  Or should we say ‘personing’ the desk for incoming Downeasters, ready to assist the throngs of arriving passengers in spreading their tourist dollars around.

So we contacted local officials, only to find out the Enterprise operation at the Station will be shutting down in a month or so.  Apparently, business has not been sufficient to continue the service, even though Downeaster ridership continues to ‘exceed expectations,’ and ‘economic stimulus’ to local businesses has been worthy of letters to the Governor.  None of which contained any objective data.

                             

You know how it goes; data and objectivity are for the nay-sayers; those without a dream, without a vision.

We have lots of dreams and visions, thank you, before you decide to toss us in the dust bin of “community pride.’  We just like them to have some grounding in reality, with an occasional topping of transparency and accountability.

Is there no one else who shares our dreams and our visions?  Have the Ostriches really taken control of honest discourse?

Technorati Tags: Enterprise,Downeaster,Brunswick,Amtrak

Downeaster Economic Stimulus: a data point

     

As you’re probably aware, we have an Enterprise Rent-a-car operation here in Brunswick, on outer Pleasant Street.  They have a ‘car rental desk’ at the Maine Street Station Visitors Center.  As shown in the graphic above, one of their discriminators is that they will pick you up, instead of making you find a way to their location to pick up a car.  This would seem a perfect approach for Brunswick, especially compared to more traditional airport locations where a bustling bevy of shuttles operate to take you to the various agencies on site.

A few weeks ago, on a whim, we decided to stop in at the office on Pleasant Street.  I asked a friendly soul, who looked to be in charge, a simple question.  “In an average week, how many cars would you say you rent to folks arriving at Maine Street Station?”

His first reaction was a look that said ‘are you sure you really want to know,’ followed by a pause as he searched for the right words, and finally he said “not many.”

I looked at him and asked “you mean 2 or 3?”

He paused again, and thoughtfully answered “maybe.”

We’re constantly being told how successful the Downeaster is; how ridership is exceeding expectations and continues to “grow;” and how much of an economic boon the service is to our community.  Not only that, but that people are clamoring for more trains in and out of Brunswick.

In a recent article, NNEPRA cited 33,000 passengers arriving/departing at Brunswick in the most recent fiscal year.

We’ll leave it to you to figure out what all those ‘passengers’ are doing when they get to Brunswick.  If we assume half of the 33,000 live in this area and are going elsewhere to enjoy themselves, we come up with 317 non-resident arriving passengers per week, on average.

If “maybe” only 2 or 3 rent a car, the other 315 or so are doing what?  And getting there how?  And spending what when they get there?

Oh well.  Pondering such questions is becoming increasingly non-productive.  We should remember to re-read the glowing endorsement letters from the BDA and Freeport civic organizations.  Looking for objective, hard data can be so counter-cultural.  Not to mention politically incorrect.

We’re beginning to believe there are more Ostriches in Cape Brunswick than we’ve been saying for the last five years or so.  It appears they all gather at an in-town beach location where there’s plenty of sand for digging in.

Which really says a lot, doesn’t it?

                

Technorati Tags: Brunswick,Downeaster,Amtrak

Maine Press Association “Annual Awards;” Self-esteem, adult journalism variety

                 

This morning, as we chowed down on our Breakfast Sandwich at the Big Top Deli on Maine Street, we browsed through the Portland Sunday paper, in which we learned that:

Press Herald/Telegram sweeps Maine journalism awards

Back in the old days when we subscribed to and read The Ostrich, we used to marvel at how many annual awards this humble little example of journalism regularly won in the annual competition.  We knew that Maine doesn’t have all that many newspapers.  We also knew that for purposes of the awards, they are separated into weeklies and dailies.

                                  

Still, the skeptic and cynic inside us surmised that so many awards were given out annually to so few competitors that virtually no still breathing print outlet would go without an award.  We also discovered somewhere over the years that the awards were not given as a result of objective review of the year’s journalistic product in toto, but in stead, like the Oscars, are given to the “best XYZ of the year” from among the nominations submitted.  (Actually, in the case before us, to the top three among the nominations.)

As we’ve clearly stated in the past, ‘best of the year’ is a relative assessment, not an absolute.  Some years, movies produced are better or worse overall than other years.  Yet, there will always be a “Best Movie of the Year,” even if it isn’t half as good as the winner two years ago.  These are not awards of excellence; they are awards of relative ranking.

                                   

If these awards only recognized true excellence, some years there would be none in a given category, and other years there would be four or five in the same category.

Enough already; let’s cut to the chase.  We decided to look into the rest of the story.

So we headed to the Maine Press Association web page: https://mainepress.wordpress.com/

As you will see, the MPA has 7 dailies as members, and 22 weeklies.  Note as well that The Forecaster and the Coastal Journal, two weeklies distributed and widely read in our area, are not listed as members.  We suppose that’s a matter of their choice.

We found the link to the awards for 2013: https://mainepress.wordpress.com/2013-contest-winners/

While we may have miscounted by a few, our quick tally of the listings came up with 398 total awards.  Handing out nearly 400 awards to a total of 29 members means that on a pure pro-rata basis, each could expect to win nearly 14 awards.

                  

Our conclusion?  Suspicions confirmed.  They give out so many awards that EVERYONE is a winner; some more than others, but EVERYONE wins.  Unless, that is, your efforts are so abysmally incompetent and unworthy that you’re probably already out of business.  Or you simply choose, like The Forecaster, not to join the association.

                        

We’ll conclude this flight of foolishness by making an award of our own.  The envelope, please!

                      

And the Four Backside Award goes to the Maine Press Association for making awards so numerous and so granular as to render their value essentially meaningless.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Especially when you consider that the recipients’ efforts are nearly meaningless, particularly in view of the classic principles of what used to be called journalism

Technorati Tags: Awards,the press,Maine,journalism