Monday, April 26, 2010

Condolences and recipes rolling in….


If you’re one of the many experiencing problems contacting us, please accept our apologies.  As you might expect, the switchboard at Other Side editorial offices has been jammed with incoming calls.  Our 24 hour staff is doing their best, but they weren’t prepared for the call volume.

The majority of the calls, at least those we’ve been able to take, have been to express condolences that our most promising and engaging story line has been taken from us, leaving us without a kettle to kvetch in, so to speak.  Many callers have also offered secret family recipes that could be adapted to our 55 gallon slow cooking caldron.  We’re most appreciative, since we’re about to pour the current caldron contents into the town sewer system.

We’re already planning to get a new stew started,  But we have a request – please stop submitting recipes that call for horns of a dilemma, or bat meat from hell, or eye of faerie shrimp.  Tempting as they sound, they’re too hard to find; even Morning Glory couldn’t help us.  We’ll simply have to rely on more conventional toil and trouble stew ingredients.

To be honest, it’s probably fair to say that Other Side was beginning to slip ever so gently into delusions of grandeur.  The political intrigue we were speculating upon had us dreaming of a compelling story that would eventually eclipse “Citizen Kane” as the greatest movie ever made.


In our imagination, “protocols” would have replaced “rosebud” as the mystery line, leaving all to wonder in future years what it meant.

But not to worry.  In the hard boiled world of sleazy internet journalism, where pajama clad jesters bob and weave, those of us so engaged know that just when things look bleakest, when you think you’ve seen it all, and that life has no more stories to cover, fools will rush in to give us new ones.

And thus it is that your correspondents will stay on the watch, with our Walter Winchell inspired nightcaps firmly in place.  Our microphones are on; our ears are up.  Our stories are coming in.


And if all else fails, and no new news crosses our desk to dissect, analyze, and report on, so what?

Investigative reporting is virtually dead; what the hell, nobody cares about it anymore.  Imaginative reporting, on the other hand, is a growth industry.


As the legend pictured above proved, it’s not the facts that matter, it’s the seriousness of the allegations.  So we always have options on how to continue serving your interests.  And ours.

Today has been one for the books, hasn’t it?  Watching the testimony at tonight’s budget hearing only made things worse. I’m pretty pooped, and I think I’ll pop a few protocols to help me sleep.

I expect John Richardson will do the same.  We’re both beside ourselves, if for completely different reasons.  But I’ll feel a lot better in the morning than he will.

Especially since I don’t have to contemplate what I’m going to do next.  How could I possibly give up show business?

And now you know…..the Other Side of the story.

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