Tuesday, January 12, 2010

MRRA Retains Poppycock Strategies as Consultants

MRRA, the Midcoast Redevelopment Regional Agency, today announced that it had entered into a long term contractual relationship with Poppycock Strategies, Inc, a relatively little known consulting firm, at least until now.

In a prepared announcement, Artur D. Mayo, V, MRRA board chair (known to his close associates as Cinco), said the arrangement is a "win-win" proposition for the MRRA and the Poppycock organization.  Mayo said the new relationship would "keep Poppycock out of our hair, and give us full access to his capacity to obfuscate, articulate, pontificate, and bloviate."  Mayo added that these are skills "sorely needed" by the MRRA.

Clearly excited when contacted personally, Mayo said "Poppycock gives us access to the Ponzi 500 companies we've been unable to reach."  Affluential is a perfect term to describe him, he added.

MRRA Executive Steve Lebeck said "we've been looking to enhance the diversity of our board, so we've been searching for a clean, articulate, pasty skinned conservative who speaks without a Maine dialect." "As you can imagine, conservatives are virtually impossible to find in the region, and those who clean up good for public appearances are as rare as Frosty's Donuts being open two weeks in a row."

Reports in various financial sector media indicate that Poppycock Associates 'is in discussions' with Price and Waterbed; Detroite and Touche'; OD and B; DB and O; OB and D; BO and D; Soprano and Associates; and other respected waste management concerns. Their collective influence spreads to Dubai, Dubonnet, and other exotic locations.  Airbus, Groundplane, and others are reported to be expressing new interest in locating at BNAS now that Poppycock has a hand in the gears of the operation.

Reached for comment, Poppycock, who was lazing on a lovely new 70 ft luxury yacht in DiMillo's marinara, said he had resisted months and months of lobbying to join the MRRA to 'protect his journalistic objectivity.'  "But you know how it is," he told this reporter, "everyone has a price."

"It's just a matter of finding out what it is; like playing 'The Price Is Right,' if you get my drift.  Let's just say Senator Ben Nelson is a hero of mine."

In a late breaking development, the MRRA reportedly contacted Other Side, and demanded that this report be taken down immediately, claiming it "misrepresents the MRRA's actual position."

Contacted for a response, Poppycock responded that Oxford Aviation has been misrepresenting the MRRA's actual position for nearly a year, yet no action has been taken to get them to cease and desist.  He cited this web page as proof.  "It shows Oxford occupying the entirety of the new Hangar 6 on the base since 2009," he said, "and I can't understand why the MRRA hasn't demanded that this egregious lie perpetrated upon the international aviation community hasn't been terminated immediately."

Poppycock added, as he sipped his Margareeta on the heated flying bridge of his craft, "when they do, I'll be happy to reciprocate."

Liar's poker, anyone?


  1. Your tongue in cheek parody doesn't fool me for a minute. You've sold out and now want to disguise it by taking a padodic poke at the same organization that has now bought you. Like P.T. Barnum said, "you can fool some people all the time and everyone most of the time." or so.

  2. Me thinks that you may be pulling my femur - still I intend to let my friends in Alton, Illinois know of this threat to their air machine retrofit business.

    Interesting that almost everyone with any sense refuses to keep an air machine on the ground for any length of time in Maine lest it be taxed.